Harriette Cole: I found out his ex was in town when she showed up for our date

DEAR HARRIETTE Before my boyfriend and I were an item he and his childhood crush dated for almost years and had two children together Related Articles Harriette Cole I overheard my girlfriend say she wants to fly solo at the big event Harriette Cole A special evening was ruined when she let a cute guy turn her head Harriette Cole Should I forgive my mom and let her see the baby Harriette Cole I m appalled that my dad billed my mom for painting the rooms Harriette Cole Need-to-know lessons from a beautiful mother Eventually they parted tactics and she moved out west Since they grew up together he is still close with her family A sparse days ago his ex s mother called and invited him to her birthday party He described me he d stop by out of respect I inquired if I could join and he reported it didn t make much sense since they don t know me Later that weekend he and I were on a date when a woman exhibited up He seemed confused but then introduced her as his ex Apparently he had narrated her he was heading out to a bar but he failed to mention I would be there She seemed embarrassed I was caught off guard but handled her presence graciously I even invited her to have a drink with us Honestly I was livid Why didn t my boyfriend mention that she was in town when he commented he was going to celebrate her mom Why did she feel secure enough to show up and hang out with him without warning I never felt threatened before but now I m having doubts about my boyfriend s transparency Past Present Future DEAR PAST PRESENT FUTURE Tell your boyfriend that in order for your relationship to work he has to be upfront and transparent about his ex You need to get to know her and the children if you are to be together Like it or not when you have children the co-parent is part of the package Find out if he is willing to do what will make you confident Otherwise cut your losses now DEAR HARRIETTE In your reply to Love That Stray the animal shelter volunteer who fell in love with one of the cats you mentioned that bringing the cat home to an surroundings where it is not requested by both people in the house would not be a good idea I totally agree that this decision should be agreed upon by both her and her boyfriend However as opposed to leaving it at that and leaving the cat at the shelter there is another option The majority if not all shelters offer a trial adoption to see if the animal is a good fit or a short-term foster which is an opportunity for the animal to decompress away from the shelter for a little while A few people will go get an animal for a day and take it to a park or on a walk Both human and animal are happy when they return Related Articles Miss Manners How insistent can I be about the spelling of my child s name Dear Abby My husband won t fulfill of my non-negotiables Is our marriage over Asking Eric I invited her in my tiny wedding quota and now she says she might skip it Harriette Cole I overheard my girlfriend say she wants to fly solo at the big event Miss Manners They snubbed us we cut them then things got awkward Maybe Love That Stray could offer one of these options to her boyfriend so he could meet the cat and get a chance to see what it would really be like having it in the home as opposed to just relying on his imagination Her boyfriend might end up being pleasantly surprised at how undisruptive and clean the greater part cats are Who knows he might even fall in cat-love As a side note I believe if more people took an animal home for a short-term foster week or weekend they could possibly end up with a love and a pleasure in their lives that they didn t know was missing Shelter Volunteer DEAR SHELTER VOLUNTEER Brilliant recommendation Thank you Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams You can send questions to askharriette harriettecole com or c o Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO