Miss Manners: Am I allowed to speak to my friend’s Alexa?

DEAR MISS MANNERS I am curious what the etiquette is at a gathering when music is playing in a friend s home on the voice-controlled device Related Articles Miss Manners Aggressive customers want me to break the workplace rules Miss Manners I m baffled by this frequent question about my hair Miss Manners One of the guests made everybody walk out in the middle of my party Miss Manners She s declared herself the dessert boss and the rest of us end up paying Miss Manners Don t they realize it s rude to make a car chirp like that Is it OK for a guest to speak directly to the device to ask it to play a song GENTLE READER Several of us remain skeptical of manufacturers suggests that if only we keep paying for upgrades the day after s devices will be smarter than the dimmest cat Until that does happen and the household devices can make claim to being more than objects a good guest waits for the host s permission before touching or talking to the inanimate residents DEAR MISS MANNERS My husband and I are in our s and own a small business as we have for our entire adult post-college life We are not wealthy but have maintained our business for multiple years and love it and we are highly educated and intelligent people We have a nephew on my husband s side of the family who is in his mid- s and flourishing right out of college with a well-paying corporate job Every time we see him which is not often because he lives across the country he turns the conversation to our business constantly giving unsolicited advice on how we could build our business and bring in more money We have never once brought up our business around him I can only surmise that he has heard about specific of the financial struggles we ve endured from his mother my husband s sister as I know he has shared various of this with her I was raised to never discuss money around others and certainly not to give advice to people years my elder What is a polite way of letting him know we aren t interested in his opinions on our business GENTLE READER The polite way is to thank him while looking like you are not quite listening The amusing way is to thank him while sounding slightly condescending DEAR MISS MANNERS I ve been employed for almost years as an administrator for a company that owns and operates several retail centers apartment complexes and office buildings I write a great number of letters to tenants as I m the main and sometimes the only point of contact Knowing that a tenant has lost their spouse when addressing future letters should I address it to both Mr and Mrs or just the surviving spouse I have addressed letters both means and have offended people for either including or excluding the deceased spouse GENTLE READER One can sympathize with a widow s or widower s loss while still saying that as a matter of both etiquette and logic one does not knowingly address a letter to someone who is deceased Related Articles Dear Abby When I gave a child a tablet I didn t intend to pay for the mom s internet Asking Eric My son s wife gets fancy meal kits and he has to cook for himself Harriette Cole The man I m dating made a proposal I didn t want to hear Miss Manners Aggressive customers want me to break the workplace rules Dear Abby Someone is spreading a rumor about me and it might be my best friend And though you did not ask Miss Manners will add two further assertions with equal confidence First there is no breach of etiquette in addressing a letter to someone who is deceased when you were unaware of that fact Second the proper answer to a surviving spouse who tells you otherwise is I am so sorry for your loss We will of class right now correct our records Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website www missmanners com to her email dearmissmanners gmail com or through postal mail to Miss Manners Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO